BENGKAK

Baru je sedar yang kakiku yg terseliuh menjadi semakin besar, bengkak laa.Maybe aku x boleh jalan2 sgt kot. Just stay kat room je lah.

Coincidentally ;

I'm coming home on Saturday morning :D

Yeay, day after tomorrow, I shall be heading home with Astakona Dianza, her future hubby and Honeystar. But but, there's one thing needed before you can depart home,,, which is PACKING !!!! Lols,due to my inabillity to walk properly, I couldn't think how painful it will be if i were to bring all my heavy luggages up and down the stairs. Huh. Couldn't imagine the painfulness that I shall experience, perhaps tomorrow and on the day itself. First thing first,separate the CLOTHES as well as the BOOKS into two sections : HOME & ALIA STORE :D Considering the fact that I'll be seating for AS exams right after the term break ends,it seems likely to have  a heavy pile of books to be brought home. BESUT <3 As I'll be taking both CIE and Edexcel exams,mostly all around May and June, by hook or by crook, all the books concerning the 7 papers that I'm gonna take should reach home. At least, if i dont have time to grab and read it, probably the process of OSMOSIS could happen to me within that 2-week-term-break period.Anyways, I had much fun having 'MOREH' together with my dudes at the surau just now. From Mamee to Appollo to Chekedees hahaha kitorg MOREH ramai-ramai. I am very thankful to Allah the Almighty for constantly showering me with the wealthiness in all terms of life. Alhamdulillah :D

The painful feeling :"(

If we look contemplatively at life, we will see that pain is inevitable and inescapable. It is, with its all various and different shapes – pain of deprivation, failure,  going astray, oppression, disability or illness — an essential component of life. There is no life without pain. It is simply the ordinance of life. So whoever imagines or plans for his life without including experiencing pain in his account will be greatly deceiving himself.

Since we accept that we can never experience real life without gulping the cup of pain and trials, we should at least try to understand that inevitable partner of life. I myself always see pain as great power and violent energy. I think it is the only power that has the ability to make radical and deep change in our hearts, our souls and our minds as well. I always like to resemble it to fire that is aimed to reconfigure our minds, purify our hearts and refine our souls.

There is no doubt that we change after experiencing pain and that change is sometimes deep and radical. I think the main reason for this serious and radical change is the violent and sudden ruin of our high and magnificent palaces – the palaces of our great expectations and hopes in life. We spend a lot of time building such imaginative palaces and we never think of pain as an inescapable destiny that may be a real threat to such magnificent palaces. That is why we always get horribly shocked when pain comes suddenly to frustrate all our magnificent plans. We feel horribly shocked when we taste that bitter savor of loss. It is not only the loss of our great expectations, but also loss of that false belief that we have control over our own destiny- the false sense of being secure. Pain comes to tell us how powerless, helpless and ignorant we are. It smashes our arrogance and puts our hand on our innate weakness. It  unveils our vulnerability that we always refuse to admit. As a result we dive in deep grief.

 I think it is that deep grief that is considered the great power and violent energy that drives that radical change in our hearts, our souls and our minds as well. It smelts the coat of hardness and severity that wraps the heart to leave it as transparent and soft as the heart of an innocent child. The power of pain melts the heart and causes it to be so sensitive that it can easily recognize the pain of others and sympathize with them. It also refines the soul. It erases that vicious heap of arrogance, self-conceit, greed and being deceived by whims. That deep grief is the great power, or we can say the fire that melts our hearts and purifies our souls. It is the power that smashes our arrogance and brings us back to our innate goodness.

Sometimes the impact of pain goes beyond purification of hearts and refining of souls. For some people pain can be the great power and violent energy that generates creativity and breeds ingenuity. In such cases pain represents the challenge those people need to change their big loss to magnificent success. It is their incentive that releases all their latent gifts and hidden abilities. The great and violent power of pain reconfigures their minds and sleeks their insight so that they can see the wisdom of life.

Anyway during the Athletics' event just now, out of nowhere i suddenly fell down on the track while running 100m hurdles. Maybe it's Allah qadr that i am falling today. At the moment i fell down, i tried to run again, but i just can't due to my sprained, twisted right ankle.So, i just walk after that and pass through one more last hurdle. This might be my fate that has been written by Allah The Almighty.This might due to my 'kekhilafan' or any bad deeds that i accidentally did previously. Then, i was relieved as right after finishing the race, Nabila, Grace, Azrul, Sharan, Nawal, Hazel, Ika, Haziq as well as Anisah came to me, trying to boost up my confidence. I might not win now, Insya-Allah i'll make sure that i'm gonna get the gold medal next time. Then, i headed straight to medical centre by the van together with the van  provided. She put the hot/cold pack on my swollen ankle, then   i just can't stop crying. No idea why. Most probably because i already made the whole Alia members dissapointed by not getting anything on the events which i participated. Not only that, i was just thinking of how nice Nabila and friends taking care of me by supporting me when i'm walking. The thing that i maybe could not accept maybe because the another friend that also in the same event as me, at the final line, she didn't care about me. She was just standing there looking at me with that sympathetic look, BAJET COOL. Sorry, if you're cool, then i should be HOTTER. HAHA. Anyways, tomorrow i might not be going to class because i don't think i can walk properly to go to class itself. Sooryyy Ms Kala, maybe next time. Okay, anyway i'm goin this Saturday together with my sis, her future husband and also Anisah, the problem arises when i haven't started with my packings yet. It's okay, wait until my swollen ankle gets better. Ok, maybe i should stop now, considering the fact that it's already Maghrib time.Salam sayang (=

Selamat Ulang Tahun Nur Sabrina JOhari (=

May you a blissful year ahead =D. Salam penuh kasih sayang ; Noraini Mohamed Daud.

Reminiscence

When this girl by the name of 'Siti Aishah' added me on FB, i was kinda looking back at the enjoyable collection of past events. Yeah the past events that involve them in my life. Starting from my mum, she has this one best friend whom now staying in Kl.This friend before this was her best friend when they were together living in the village of Kg. Renek. I still could remember how my mum told me and other siblings about how close her and mak jarah. (yeah.that's her BFF's name). When they were young, they used to go to Al-Quran classes together. Not only that, you know the behaviour of the 'kampung' girl which is kinda exotic and adventurous to me. My said narrated that they're always doing the fun stuff together in the afternoon with the background of the peaceful and the tranquility of village cool air breeze added by the swing of coconut trees with long leaves and stuffs. And now, eventhough my mum and her BFF are separated apart(cheh,only KL-Besut) BHAHAHAHAHA(: this mak jarah will always hang herself up on the phone almost every night talking to my mum, which sometimes, annoyed us, especially my dad. HAHAHA.but you know my dad, he would not say it straight. He will try to make jokes by saying that "Esah ngantok doh tu" .Kelakar pon ade :D 

OK now when i was in Form 1, mak jarah's daughter with this one japanese man and her dearest granchild, Ebbete really enlighted me by bringing me to go for an outing. This stopped for a while in the midst of that, later when i was in Form 5, they continued coming down to visit me all the way to Cyberjaya from Subang Jaya (i don't think it's far though). So now they added me, so it's time to go out crazily with both of them again (=

Gelak sampai nak pecah perut (serius)

ya-Allah.just now i was like.laughing like i'm not living again in this world.LOL.It's all started from Putri's doing some basic actions that i think it's kinda funneh. She was supposed to do "we kiss,we make up".You guys know what? Instead of doing the normal way by using the five fingers to put on the make-up, this Put had probably created such a genius idea by using only her 2 fingers to put on the make-up on her face.Like, seriously, it's extremely hilarious. You can even cause your jaw to take off from depositing in your mouth. I still remember vividly when i was in the midst of laughing, i felt that my throat is getting drier due to the overdose of laughters.cheers*

Ok,that was the Put part. Let's look up Nabila's one. This should be funnier. I thot that she already knew all the steps as we have been practising thousand times with my roomie, Umi (: together with umi. lOls.Nabila oh nabila.... "We fight we break up" hahahaha she was portraying it by doing something like u can see in the fight between a cat and a dog, normally. HAHHAAHAHHA. Her hands were creeping when she was doing it that makes me and Put to laugh non-stop. Ohh only how you how do we look like at that moment. UHHH.

Put and Nabila, i am really looking forward to laugh crazily over anything with you guys again. HAHAHHAAHAHAHA. Anisah gracey or anyone could also join us :D

Sutera Kasih by In-Team (=

press here for more interesting nasyeed.

Suddenly feel like listening to this song ~

When dilemma hits me ^_^

Only the past few days that I had just realized that I only now have about ONE MONTH AND HALF before the dreadful 7 papers of CIE and Edexcel.Despite that, I keep busying myself with Athletics' practice, choir practice, French classes, PTPI's bazaar stuff and etc. Yes, i do enjoy doing all those, but at the same time, I think that I have not been focusing much to my studies. Okay, maybe i should have remind myself now that : I was always weak in almost all the subjects, so don't pretend that you're smart and grouped as those geniuses people. Sorry, dear heart, you WERE not. Consequently, this kind of people like, ME, by hook or by crook u have no other way rather than being a super NERD person, it's not really nerd, it's just you are trying to maximize your time management by doing    constructive stuffs, education, etc. Yea, no other way, Noraini darling <3 There's this one day, i was sarcasmly advising peep as thou hair was protruding at the edge of thou hijab. Guess what did i 'kena' back? So hell yeah thee think thee butt isn't smexy? I was like.......... what??Being a good thee, I kept my mouth shut, considering the fact i don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, I hate doing that. That was like one of the sinful deed, as for me. This case when u watch fancy someone and the moment when creepily moving over him how your heart wanted to explode!!!! Arghhh. Well I am such a grateful Allah's slave on earth, (im trying to be one) I would not go and bump thou on the head straight. U know the feeling when your dude prioritize other people's instead of u. Inside out u might already burst, but as u still have the patience left, u keep it to your heart.Yea that was how it goes, very smoothly and straight to the point. I'd always wanted to do the best and treat my special girlfriends to my ultimate consideration when she easily put harsh words on u. My heart would have break at the instant, but considering the fact that i hate to hurt people's fragile feelings, I kept, again to myself. And at the moment when the thou trying very nicely asking the thee pertaining solving question stuff, how you wanted to scream out telling that could you puh-lease answer it nicely same as the way thou asking thee. No need to mention the embarassing part  that thou needs to bare, all by herself. I pity thou, doesn't matter. This is where I'd like to concentrate the concept of being appreciative like what I've mentioned earlier. Nonetheless, there are still few creatures on earth that are still so not sure about their existence as a........

Well i still have loads of past years to be done. Appreciate the people you know before they become the people you knew. Love you guys <3 toodles (:

What's up world? :D

Hope today will be better than yesterday (:
Let's get back on track : Econs Acct Stats 2 FP 1 C3 Insya Allah.Salam (=

This should explain best my current feeling :"(

Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me

I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

[Bridge]
Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say..

[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me

I should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
Maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need


My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me

I've kept all the words you've said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me

[Bridge]
But if you're happy
I'll get through somehow


But the truth is
I've been screaming out..


[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me

I should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
Maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need


It was all we'd ever need
I thought it was all we'd ever need
Ohh

[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me

I should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had, mmm
Ohh that what we had
What we had
It was all we'd ever need

Enjoy <3

In love with the song as well as the lyrics =S

Need You Now by Lady Antebellum (:





Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I cant fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

Its a quarter after one, Im all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, cant stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

Its a quarter after one, Im a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Yes Id rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
Its a quarter after one, Im all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldnt call but Im a little drunk and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

Happy + Sad = Emotionless :C

Well that phrase maybe could express my feelings,recently. Anyways just got back my acct trial paper result. Humm it totally doesnt satisfy me, at all point of view. Somehow, i think this from the positive side of the story. What if i got really excellent marks for now, who knows i might not be studying considering the fact that i already at the safe zone. Maybe Allah has better plans for us, I do hope so, Insya-Allah. All we the servants, have to do now is just to be loyal and worship to Him, doesn't matter in any kind of conditions, whether it's bad or exciting. I know that everyone is given the same mind to think, it's up to us how we use it to be wiser in any ways.


From now on, I shall not do crap things anymore, especially spending excessive hours on the internet, which will never benefit me from neither aspects of life.
So you know these are the dates that im going to have battle with my mind.


        19 MAY : ECONOMICS PAPER 2


        25 MAY : ACCOUNTING PAPER 2


        27 MAY : ECONOMICS PAPER 1


        3 JUNE  : ACCOUNTING PAPER 1
So yeah now i think it's time for me to get back on track. Actually i was very upset as when my sister commented on my fb status saying that "puasa sunat isnin khamis could help u lose weight" which i cudnt really accept the way she told me. It's such a good advice but somehow it seems like it is conveyed in the mood of sarcasm. Emm dont care about the small matter anymore.


So, remember to appreciate people around you. Never take them for granted. We are here on this earth are to care and love among each other, and of course in an appropriate way. And if u don't like someone's attitude just u could probably advise the person straight, which is more constructive rather that backstabbing and talk anything bad behind them. Bear in mind that everything is not perfect in this world, so the purpose of us living together is to correct each other and be a loyal servant to our only God, Allah S.W.T. Amin, InsyaAllah :D

Dissapointment, again :"(

Urggghhhh.I just did very badly in my last AS trials.From Econs to Accounting, i had the instinct that i indirectly screwed all those papers. Aftermath the p2 Acct i feel like punching myself on the face for not be able to answer the questions accordingly. As we know that paper really requires the candidate to divide the time given well as you need to answer numerous subjective questions, which are, not easy at all. TIME-CONSTRAINT. Not only pertaining acct paper, i was kinda blur when it comes to the p2 econs exam. At first i opted to successfully answer inflation essay, somehow in the middle of writing the essay, i was like lost all the points. i kinda forgotten all those memories of inflation that i've read before the exam. What the to me? =.=

And just now, due to the feeling of guilty that kept engulfing me after screwing the papers, i kindly downloaded the acct past years starting from 2005 till 2010, fuhh what a year.HAHAHAHA. If i have time, im gonna use the printer, print all those stuffs in order to maximise my understanding in my studies, (I really do hope so).

So yeah, this is like a reminder to me : Make a list of what you've done since you are in Form 5, mainly for the sake of my personal statement. When i was at the assembly, Ms Sarah talked about the references that they will make especially from the housemistress, ms sarah herself, principal, college staffs etc. Uhhh i don't think jones know me though. It's all for the prefect installation which is coming very soon so that they can let the previous prefects to retire and let them focus in the dreadful A2 examinations, as well as my AS .URGGGHHHHH (scary mode).

So now, i might not thinking of doing anything stupid in my life. What i know was, the next thing that i'm gonna do is to be a really really really hardworking student. I am certainly not going to dissapoint anyone, ANYMORE.i promise i won't.if i do that again, u could probaby kill me.Actually i kinda fancy on this God's creature called a guy :D I am not really sure since when did he manged to steal my HEART <3 away from me. Seriously, I'd never really like another guy before THIS MUCH. Ohhh my heart keep saying 'No,the time has not come yet, u should totally focus on your pre-u studies, no mingling around'HAHAHAHA.but why did i keep staring at the pictures with very passionate (= I seriously had no idea when the first time i can be this lost over this creature.

Well these are my recent activities that i've been doing all this while (:

Ronggeng with k hana & bna. Best gile kot :D

So till then my latest post for now :D Looking forward to do Accounting mcq quests :D i REALLY wanted to be a smart person though :D

AS trial exams are coming up so soon =S